Monday, April 02, 2007
i'm baaaaack
HAHAHAHAHA *Eveil laughter*
my darling's back!!! oh i missed her so much i almost went to sleep hugging her but din want her to break so yar. haiks now i feel complete again!!!
well besides being technologically competent now, i am super busy with LIFE.
seems like its just one thing after another. i dunno when i'll get to rest. i'm not really complaining cuz i think it helps me FOCUS on what i'm doing in life, but yar, i just feel like a breather once in a while would be nice..
school's really heating up. projects projects projects projects!! ahh ruining any chance of having a life. meetings everyday in school till 9plus pm is a norm. and yar, overnights are somewhere in my very near future. however, i am SO GLAD a particular module's report and presentation is finally over!
those (besides a particular darling tho) were the worst project mates one could ever get! ahh GOD! what did i do to deserve them. some really pathetic enemy must have wished them upon me cuz even I woudn't want anyone to suffer with them. well there are a few....but...oh wells!
ah! spoilt rotten ppl, lazy asses, cheaterbugs, liars, no guiltyness wadsoever, marks-stealers, ah!!! so so so so glad its over. although i recieved the worst end of the deal, and was kinda misunderstood by mr.charming, i am just GLAD i dun have to see them week after week. aahhhhh. *relief*
but on e other hand. for my core modules, ive got GREAT project mates. prjt meetings are a blast, so much so i dun mind it. its really fun and at least we're all helping each other out and being FRIENDS. wohooooooo...lab's not too bad too, besides the deary hours and horrendous lab reports.
hopefully this sem turns out ok. needa start crammin for exams. they're in just 3 weeks time! ahhhhhhhh
well besides sch, dance has been sucking my time as well. performance on the 28th! yah i know, right smack in the middle of my EXAMS!
i'm just hoping God gives me the strength and focus to channel my energy and time properly. playing quite a tiring role in this production, playing a monkey is no easy feat alrite! ah and a horrendous thillana to boot at the end. oh wells, its a chance to progress upwards so no complains. yup. had first combined rehearsal on sat and got quite a few compliments for our roles (mine + sangithah's). hopefully it continues. it feels real good to be complimented rather than railed at. really motivates me to do more and prove myself to them. was so shocked when aunty padmini and aunty bhasker ACTUALLY SAID WE DID WELL! wow. never thought i'd live to see that dae. hahahaha.
but i really do miss yoges oh so much. dance class is never the same. we used to have so much fun even though we'd be dead tired. i'd kind of dread yet look forward to sundaes cuz it meant meeting her. our routine going-to-class and routine -travel-back-home. sigh. now class is so routine. practising the dance drama again and again and there's no yoges. sigh babe i hope u come back soon! miss u so much in class!!
besides dance, sitar is starting to worry me quite a bit. frankly, with school, dance, tuition and family, i rarely have time left for sitar and i really have been neglecting it quite a bit. quite a lot actually. and my teachers have started to notice that and have been giving me quite a few warnings. i really do need to buck up or i think i would be asked to move down to a beginner standard class. its already a miracle that we're in intermediate class. well its a miracle that i'm there actually.
i dunno why but i dun feel as motivated for sitar as i do for dance. maybe its cuz i have no natural rhytmn or flair. it doesnt come to me naturally. unlike dance. dance even if i dun practise and go for class, at the most i'll forget some steps but i'll soon get the hang of things as the rhytmn goes into me and i can usually end up doin alrite and go with the flow and quite enjot it.
however for sitar, even with practise i'm just at an "alright" phase. i dun get it. i just dun. it does NOT come to me naturally, unlike for rathi and sunitha. so its really difficult for me. many times i've thought of giving it up. i mean there are def more pros than cons for that. more time, no needa pay fees every mth, less scolding, less pressure etc.
however, i dun like to quit. i mean, i like playing the sitar, its just not something i CAN do, but i like it. and the feeling of actually being a tat bit musical appeals to me. i mean at least now i know the meaning of raaga, taala, shruthi, taats, paltas, sa re ga ma pa da ni sa, etc etc. and not to mention the $750 i spent on my sitar which is sitting at home collecting dust.
sigh.
oh wells. i really do have to start practising i guess. NO QUITING! no i cant. i just have to prioritise and do well. aniweis i promised kumar and ms viji i'd do just that so i better. sigh. it's really quite dampening though, getting scolded every lesson, and poor sunitha and rathi know their stuff and just have to sit there while i'm getting private tutoring. sigh. wasting their money and time as well. i'm so lucky they're nice else they'll alr start bitching abt me! hehe. well looks like i have to buck up not only for me, but also for their sakes.
well there's also other stuff like tuition and so many many 21sts coming up. plus new baby niece as well. oh yes her name is Ranya. it means pleasant. nice rite? i helped to pick it! hahaha aniweis so have more errands to run for sis and mum. have to go over quite a bit to sister's place to help out and take care of the kids. mainly take care of navina and babysit her. mum's been staying alternate days at sis's place to help out so i rarely see her. haiks. miss her quite a bit. noone to make milo for me at night :(
i have kind of no life these days. hahaha well actually i just went clubbin on wed but i think i really needed to get it out of my system and it was good! really enjoyed myself n realised how much i missed ebie darlings. ah i miss them so! sobsob. and my nerd darlings,. met up with jo gra and minah and minah's place on sat night and we just sat there and chilled out. was good. but sadly i was really sick so we left early. i'm still nursing a few ails. blocked nose, feel like i swallowed glass and havin a bit of a fever. i think i'm too old to club animore. WAHAHAHHAH. right.
well its gonna be a busy sem. but i'm going to try to be a better person and hopefully come out of it learning sth new and being more COMPLETE!
yup my mantra for this year : to be complete.
i just feel so empty half the time though i have everything ppl think they need to be complete : a wonderful fantabulous family, a loving bf who would do just abt anything for me, friends that people would actually kill for, a chance to pursue higher education in the field i desire and good health. so i dunno what it really is that i seem to be searching for. hopefully i get the answer soon,
maybe all i need it a balanced life of work + play + culture. and hopefully i learn how to balance it this year.
well long long post people. will update more with pics next time. love all. muacks. p.s coming up next : pics of momo clubbin@28th mar, random pics with new camera, pics of ranya and navina, pics of sa's bdae party and more.
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